Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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