I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
