sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
