I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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