I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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