Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
