your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
