my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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