how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
bring money and cleavage
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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