the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
