I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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