we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
