Having a random hookup so left but love u
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
