When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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