If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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