When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize