I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize