I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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