you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
