So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
