That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
