oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
