I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
