IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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