too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
