Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.

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  (248): Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too. http://tfl.nu/c23w
  Replies (9) Good night (2426) Bad night (819)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas

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  (206): well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas http://tfl.nu/i2gq
  Replies (13) Good night (1567) Bad night (3413)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.

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  (732): four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day. http://tfl.nu/q3s7
  Replies (20) Good night (4095) Bad night (1664)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad

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  (+64): i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad http://tfl.nu/7gyh
  Replies (27) Good night (1010) Bad night (6621)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it

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  (816): She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it http://tfl.nu/ag4k
  Replies (8) Good night (2690) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.

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  (760): I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation. http://tfl.nu/wrn9
  Replies (9) Good night (4100) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.

  (415): View more from California

  No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans

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  (415): There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest. (415): No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans http://tfl.nu/liuw
  Replies (13) Good night (4579) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras

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  (301): Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras http://tfl.nu/fw4u
  Replies (11) Good night (2807) Bad night (632)
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  (209): View more from California

  She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.

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  (209): She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana. http://tfl.nu/10jo
  Replies (3) Good night (1898) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH

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  (973): he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH http://tfl.nu/asic
  Replies (8) Good night (1137) Bad night (637)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna

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  (651): drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna http://tfl.nu/yd45
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (1619)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.

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  (919): Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties. http://tfl.nu/7t6a
  Replies (9) Good night (1545) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.

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  (406): We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right. http://tfl.nu/ritk
  Replies (5) Good night (1976) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?

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  (304): We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is? http://tfl.nu/tyju
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?

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  (702): He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed? http://tfl.nu/mq0y
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (203)

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