I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...