Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

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  (724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am. http://tfl.nu/33o2
  Replies (61) Good night (30525) Bad night (1219) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.

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  (717): I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked. http://tfl.nu/cil2
  Replies (55) Good night (564) Bad night (5280) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it

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  (334): I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it http://tfl.nu/u4cv
  Replies (14) Good night (4808) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  That was long passed due.

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  (414): I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol" (262): That was long passed due. http://tfl.nu/6bqu
  Replies (36) Good night (4981) Bad night (871)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..

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  (785): it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string.. http://tfl.nu/4pq8
  Replies (28) Good night (591) Bad night (7127) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"

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  (515): I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that" http://tfl.nu/9edj
  Replies (15) Good night (6001) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.

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  (423): Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis. http://tfl.nu/t2k7
  Replies (14) Good night (989) Bad night (4734) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina

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  (405): just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv (1-405): we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina http://tfl.nu/dapc
  Replies (24) Good night (2309) Bad night (5186)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special

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  (941): I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special http://tfl.nu/g9sh
  Replies (11) Good night (5704) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.

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  (206): I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick. http://tfl.nu/yyxj
  Replies (8) Good night (1145) Bad night (3825) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.

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  (617): I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch. http://tfl.nu/yicm
  Replies (13) Good night (1933) Bad night (3067) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.

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  (831): sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college. http://tfl.nu/u990
  Replies (3) Good night (1732) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP

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  (780): Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP http://tfl.nu/n1dg
  Replies (0) Good night (658) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it

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  (641): She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it http://tfl.nu/mwwo
  Replies (7) Good night (904) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.

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  (724): The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent. http://tfl.nu/afyt
  Replies (12) Good night (1445) Bad night (565)

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