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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere

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• (818): View more from California

  Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...

  (714): View more from California

  Didn't you just get a DUI last week?

  (818): View more from California

  Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I too understand the importance of cheesy bread

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh

  (1-219): View more from Indiana

  wow.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.

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• (714): View more from California

  I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina

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• (716): View more from New York

  I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.

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