Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  my head looks like a cockatoo

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom

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  (305): my head looks like a cockatoo (1-305): mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom http://tfl.nu/w2nh
  Replies (10) Good night (999) Bad night (1471)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.

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  (573): i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina. http://tfl.nu/5va6
  Replies (40) Good night (3710) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.

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  (513): You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god. (513): and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon. http://tfl.nu/ae2p
  Replies (21) Good night (5496) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.

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  (661): i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally. http://tfl.nu/2rgg
  Replies (12) Good night (2598) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time

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  (585): lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time http://tfl.nu/tppe
  Replies (9) Good night (4764) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing

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  (813): yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing http://tfl.nu/tarj
  Replies (71) Good night (12698) Bad night (1215)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.

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  (850): You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus. http://tfl.nu/vr5q
  Replies (15) Good night (9751) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.

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  (410): 260 beers this month. I need a new hobby. http://tfl.nu/ixdv
  Replies (37) Good night (3748) Bad night (1414)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of

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  (253): That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of http://tfl.nu/x3nm
  Replies (3) Good night (1255) Bad night (2974)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Found a pint glass in my snow pants.

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  (810): Found a pint glass in my snow pants. http://tfl.nu/1iqt
  Replies (7) Good night (3094) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.

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  (250): I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not. (250): A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop. http://tfl.nu/aiao
  Replies (13) Good night (1296) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?

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  (914): He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message? http://tfl.nu/czyz
  Replies (7) Good night (1939) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire

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  (810): I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire http://tfl.nu/lsgu
  Replies (7) Good night (2208) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Maybe

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  (843): Bring a bathing suit and your good liver. (1-843): My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice? (843): Maybe http://tfl.nu/53dg
  Replies (4) Good night (958) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.

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  (904): Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown. http://tfl.nu/099k
  Replies (3) Good night (508) Bad night (228)

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