I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better