Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?

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  (312): You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend? http://tfl.nu/xot8
  Replies (23) Good night (631) Bad night (1934)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid

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  (610): oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid http://tfl.nu/g7bt
  Replies (6) Good night (2283) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.

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  (505): I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them. http://tfl.nu/0g2b
  Replies (42) Good night (1161) Bad night (2408)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory

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  (516): I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory http://tfl.nu/t9t2
  Replies (21) Good night (11049) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?

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  (330): I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam! (1-330): is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar? http://tfl.nu/c4pf
  Replies (5) Good night (3928) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer

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  (712): Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer http://tfl.nu/7yso
  Replies (10) Good night (5500) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away

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  (845): you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away http://tfl.nu/uj7c
  Replies (3) Good night (2762) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon

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  (937): We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon http://tfl.nu/2kt0
  Replies (12) Good night (1776) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...

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  (765): I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you... http://tfl.nu/t7gx
  Replies (2) Good night (926) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  OPIZZABONMYDICK

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  (415): OPIZZABONMYDICK http://tfl.nu/43zd
  Replies (14) Good night (742) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change

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  (702): This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change http://tfl.nu/0eyu
  Replies (1) Good night (879) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send

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  (925): I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send http://tfl.nu/fpx2
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.

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  (386): In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations. http://tfl.nu/h1dn
  Replies (2) Good night (1005) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Are you alive?

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up under the pier.

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  (703): Are you alive? (1-703): I woke up under the pier. http://tfl.nu/dfp7
  Replies (4) Good night (816) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you fail at everything in life besides blacking out

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  (513): you fail at everything in life besides blacking out http://tfl.nu/frqk
  Replies (0) Good night (397) Bad night (280)

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