eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
