Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
