I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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