Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
