If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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