We're facebook friends in real life
Nicole vs. Life
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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