i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
