Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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