That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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