My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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