but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
