i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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