i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
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