we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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