i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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