Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
