who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
