The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
