Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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