I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
