Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
