you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
