Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
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It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way