i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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