i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
