i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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