Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
