I accidentally burped into my bong.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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