Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
