found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
