Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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