There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
