I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
