Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize