I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
