i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
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An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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