Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
