This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
