A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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