Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
