Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
