Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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