so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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